Depressed and how not be

The best thing 
Despite the fact that splitting up with your wife or husband may be the best thing for you, divorce can be unbelievably difficult. Marriage breakdown and the loss of a person for whom you may still care very much is comparable to the death of someone close and it follows that depression is a normal emotional response.

If you are experiencing general unhappiness, rather than clinical depression in your life after divorce it is still essential to get your mind back on a positive path, and much of the advice given here on dealing with depression will be equally useful.

It’s good to talk
Sometimes people feel that talking about the divorce will somehow make the experience less bearable. However, if you talk to trustworthy people – friends, a support group, a priest or therapist it can help you to feel unburdened and it will help you to clarify your thoughts about what has happened and how you see your future.

Make time for friends and family
Remember, divorce depression is temporary and eventually you will want to put your life back on an even keel. So during this time take care not to cut yourself off from other aspects of your life. Maintaining contact with friends and family also serves to remind you that you are still loved and appreciated by other people.

Take your time
Moving on is a cliché that should be banned and is something that most divorced people will be sick of hearing. And it’s not true. It takes time to process events in order to make sense of our lives after separating from a spouse. So don’t feel that you have to surge full-speed ahead into the unknown. Take your time, feel your way, and give your body and mind time to adapt to new circumstances.

Don’t dash into relationships
Once you’ve broken free of an unhappy or destructive marriage, well meaning friends may try to persuade you to embark is on another relationship before you are ready. It can be very difficult to see your future as a single person and not as part of a couple. However, you should take as much time as you need to recover from a divorce before even considering pairing up again. Just enjoy the opportunity to discover yourself for a change and learn to value your own company.

Seek medical help
Don’t be afraid to speak to a professional about your feelings. A consultation with a doctor or a psychiatrist could lead to a course of antidepressant medication. Don’t fight it – sometimes some form of medical intervention is necessary to enable you to begin healing yourself.

Take care of yourself
If you’ve just come through a messy divorce from an insensitive spouse, you may be experiencing fe...

Depression after divorce

Depressed and how not to be after divorce
It is unlikely that you will survive your divorce unscathed. Different people deal with crises in their life in different ways, but it is understandable that after relationship breakdown you will be left with feelings of disappointment and sadness particularly when that relationship has been of long standing.

Even if your marriage ended acrimoniously it does not necessarily follow that getting a divorce has made you deliriously happy. Sometimes the residual grief and heartache a person feels after a divorce can trigger a bout of serious depression.

What is depression?
Depression is much more than a temporary low mood or feeling unhappy. At its most extreme it can lead to thoughts of, if not actual, self harm or suicide. If this is the case, you may be suffering from clinical depression, which means that you need the help of a health professional and some form of treatment pretty swiftly.

Other indicators of depression include; feelings of anxiety; #persistent tiredness; inability to concentrate; difficulty sleeping; loss of libido; tearfulness; persistent or frequent headaches; stomach or digestive problems. If you experience these types of symptoms for more than a couple of weeks then you may be depressed and in need of help.

What to do about it
Depression is the most common mental health problem and can affect anyone, although twice as many women as men will be diagnosed. This may be because men are less likely to discuss feelings and emotions than women or because such admissions will be interpreted as unmanly. Most people who suffer short periods of depression are treated by their GP and this should be your first port of call. A minority of those with a more severe problem may be referred to a psychiatrist or to a local Community Health Team member.

Depression after divorce
Depression after divorce will, hopefully be temporary. Acknowledging your feelings is important, as is keeping in touch with friends and family members. It is only too easy when you are in a negative frame of mind to lose contact with others and, by so doing, isolate yourself instead of trying to remember that there are still many good things in your life and better times to come. Divorce has been likened to bereavement and, as such, a period of mourning can be required.

It may be trite to say so, but time really is the great healer. A period of reflection after divorce will give you time to see ways of progressing onwards and upwards and, will hopefully, leave you eager to embrace new challenges.

Helpful websites

Apart from a referral from your GP both the British Association for Counselling and Psychotherapy and the UK Council for Psychoth...