Marriage Counselors Bradford

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Marriage Care
0113-270 3940
Hinsley Hall/62 Headingley La
Leeds
Relate Keighley & Craven
01535 605047
Acres Ho Berry La
Keighley
Keighley Womens Centre
01535 681316
182 Skipton Rd
Keighley
Registration Of Births Deaths & Marriages
01924 324880
Wellington St
Dewsbury
The Exceptional Coach
07728 570049
Grange Farm
Leeds
Catholic Marriage Care
0113 261 8045
62 Headingley Lane
Leeds
Relate
01535 605047
Acres House/Berry Lane
Keighley
Core Counselling & Counselling Supervision
0113-253 8491
5 Highfield
Wakefield
Citizen Advice Bureau
0844 8487970
Unit 5 6 Empire House Wakefield Road
Dewsbury
Helen Rowland Counselling and Psychotherapy
07949 524819
Craven Clinic
Skipton

Is a second marriage a good answer to a blissful life after divorce? Probably not

Is a second marriage a good answer to a blissful life after divorce? Probably not.

The history of second, third and even fourth marriages is not that encouraging.  Broadly speaking the likelihood of divorce increases with the number of times you have been married.

This would suggest that instead of going up the learning curve couples are moving rather rapidly down it.  Why would this be?

First marriages
In the majority of first marriages, there are no children, both spouses are young and starting out in life.  There is a sense of a joint adventure and a lifetime of love and companionship before you.  Neither has much in the way of assets or debts (apart from student loans!) and the baggage is more cabin baggage than a steamer trunk full of past successes, failures and memories.

dreamstime_senior_couple11583938.jpgSecond and third marriages
Clearly a second marriage or third will involve older people but given the divorce statistics often no wiser.  Curiously people tend to marry the same type of person again and again.  Their physical characteristics may be different but the second spouse is very often of a similar psychological makeup to the first.

This is a recipe for a second divorce if the fist marriage was affected by issues around drugs, alcohol or domestic violence .  The best advice is to seek some counselling or professional advice to help prevent repeating the mistakes of the past.

Children and second marriages
Children can often be a significant contributors to the failure of a second marriage .  They do not want you to marry anyone and often hang onto the belief that their parents will get back together.

A new step-parent, to most children, is close to the last thing they want in their lives.  Blending families can often work well but the need to fight over turf and attention can often make the blend less than smooth and often decidedly lumpy.

Step parents should never attempt to usurp the role of the biological parent.  This is probably the biggest single family based cause of second marriage failure.  Making a new life after the second divorce is not going to be any easier than it was the first time round.

The sheer logistics of managing a new relationship with his and her children can throw domestic routines into turmoil.  When there are children born of a new marriage, and there are already step-children, this complicates things further.  Some sacrifices may have to be made by you and everybody's children as you cannot do everything for everybody all the time.  Careful and sympathetic planning should be able to resolve these difficulties.

Money can cause mayhem
Money, so often a source of stress and disagreement in the first marriage can be equally disruptive in the second, although in a different way.  The partners in a second marriage are more likely to bring unequal financial assets to the marriage especially if a divorced...

Click here to read more from My Life After Divorce