Marriage Counselors Coventry

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Marriage Care
024 7622 0065
13 Stoney Road
Coventry
Citizens Advice Bureau
01926 457900
10 Hamilton Ter/Holly Walk
Leamington Spa
Oglethorpe Jacqueline Susan
07811 958851
19 Cawston La
Rugby
Relate Rugby & Northeast Warwickshire Ltd
0800-389 7540
44-46 Regent St
Rugby
Willow Counselling Service
0121-707 6797
87 Warwick Rd
Solihull
North Warwickshire Counselling Service
024 7632 0095
72 High St
Nuneaton
Lee Allen Counselling
01926511951
Creative Health Centre
Leamington Spa
Citizens Advice Bureau
01788 541000
32 North St
Rugby
Relate (Rugby & N.E. Warks) Ltd
01788 565675
44a-46a Regent Street
Rugby
D M A Counselling
07814 124672
48 Bonner Dr
Sutton Coldfield

Is a second marriage a good answer to a blissful life after divorce? Probably not

Is a second marriage a good answer to a blissful life after divorce? Probably not.

The history of second, third and even fourth marriages is not that encouraging.  Broadly speaking the likelihood of divorce increases with the number of times you have been married.

This would suggest that instead of going up the learning curve couples are moving rather rapidly down it.  Why would this be?

First marriages
In the majority of first marriages, there are no children, both spouses are young and starting out in life.  There is a sense of a joint adventure and a lifetime of love and companionship before you.  Neither has much in the way of assets or debts (apart from student loans!) and the baggage is more cabin baggage than a steamer trunk full of past successes, failures and memories.

dreamstime_senior_couple11583938.jpgSecond and third marriages
Clearly a second marriage or third will involve older people but given the divorce statistics often no wiser.  Curiously people tend to marry the same type of person again and again.  Their physical characteristics may be different but the second spouse is very often of a similar psychological makeup to the first.

This is a recipe for a second divorce if the fist marriage was affected by issues around drugs, alcohol or domestic violence .  The best advice is to seek some counselling or professional advice to help prevent repeating the mistakes of the past.

Children and second marriages
Children can often be a significant contributors to the failure of a second marriage .  They do not want you to marry anyone and often hang onto the belief that their parents will get back together.

A new step-parent, to most children, is close to the last thing they want in their lives.  Blending families can often work well but the need to fight over turf and attention can often make the blend less than smooth and often decidedly lumpy.

Step parents should never attempt to usurp the role of the biological parent.  This is probably the biggest single family based cause of second marriage failure.  Making a new life after the second divorce is not going to be any easier than it was the first time round.

The sheer logistics of managing a new relationship with his and her children can throw domestic routines into turmoil.  When there are children born of a new marriage, and there are already step-children, this complicates things further.  Some sacrifices may have to be made by you and everybody's children as you cannot do everything for everybody all the time.  Careful and sympathetic planning should be able to resolve these difficulties.

Money can cause mayhem
Money, so often a source of stress and disagreement in the first marriage can be equally disruptive in the second, although in a different way.  The partners in a second marriage are more likely to bring unequal financial assets to the marriage especially if a divorced...

Click here to read more from My Life After Divorce